ROCKET SHITTY HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HYMNAL

1.  MEET THE HASHERS

2.  WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?

3.  HIS ONE-SKIN / HER LEFT TIT

4.  SOLDIER SONG

5.  HASH ON THE RANGE

6.  SHITTY TRAIL

7.  DOES A HASHER?

8.  DOWN DOWN DOWN YOUR BEER

9.  HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

10.  HERE'S TO ____________ (Hasher’s name)

11.  IF YOUR BOYFRIEND TASTES LIKE SHIT

12.  WE'VE GOT VIRGINS

13.  PISS-AN-YA

14.  SWING LOW

15.  BALLAD OF ROCKET SHITTY HHH

16.  PUT YOUR LEFT LEG OVER MY SHOULDER

17.  IN HEAVEN THERE IS NO BEER

18.  HERE’S TO BROTHER (SISTER) HASHER

19. DO-RAY-MI

20. HASH PRAYER

21. HE’S THE MEANEST

22. BY THE LIGHT…

23. ZULU CHIEF

24. THERE WAS A LITTLE BIRD

25. SKIPPY THE SQUIRREL  

26. YOGI BEAR

27. JESUS CAN'T GO HASHING

28. CHARLIE MOPS/BEER SONG

 

1.  MEET THE HASHERS

Melody - Flintstones Theme

Hashers, meet the hashers,

They're the biggest drunks in history,

From the town of Rocket Shitty,

They're the leaders in debauchery.

Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,

Watch them as they down a lot of beers,

Down down, down down down down,

Down down down down down down down down down,

Down down, down down down down,

Down down down down down down down down down.

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2.  WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?

Why was he born so beautiful?

Why was he born at all?

He's no fuckin' use to anyone,

He's no bloody use at all.

They say he's a joy to his mother,

But he's a pain in the asshole to me,

He's fresh as a daisy,

He drives me crazy,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

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3.  HIS ONE-SKIN / HER LEFT TIT

Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the  Ocean

His one skin hangs down to his two skin,

His two skin hangs down to his three,

His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,

His foreskin hangs down to his knee.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

OPTIONAL VERSES:

Roll back, roll back,

Roll back his foreskin for him, for him.

Roll back, roll back,

Please roll back his foreskin for him.

Her left tit hangs down to her belly

Her right tit hangs down to her knee

If her left tit exceeded her right tit

She’d get lots of weinie from me

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4.  SOLDIER SONG

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,

To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,

For cunt, for cunt, to fight for my country,

Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,

A soldier I will be.

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5.  HASH ON THE RANGE

Melody - Home on the Range

Oh give me a home where the hasher does roam,

Where the hare and the harriette play,

Where seldom is heard a Puritan word,

And the draft beer is cold all day.

Hash, hash on the range,

Where the queer and the cantaloupe play,

Where seldom is heard a Puritan word,

And the draft beer is cold all day.

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6.  SHITTY TRAIL

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail (It sucked)

Shitty trail (really fucked)

The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail (shitty trail)

I would rather drink a beer than hash your shitty trail,

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

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7.  DOES A HASHER?

Melody - Do Your Balls Hang Low?

Does a hasher like to walk,

Does a hasher like to run,

Does a hasher like to be where they're having all the fun?

Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,

While his friends all sing and cheer,

Now your time has come.

So drink it down, down, down . . .

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8.  DOWN DOWN DOWN YOUR BEER

Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat

Composed by Arabian Goggler

Down Down Down your beer,

To pay for your crime.

Quit complaining about the taste,

There's no sperm this time.

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9.  HASH HOUSE HARRIER (FAMILY)

Melody - Addams Family Theme

Their drinking is compulsive and

Their running is convulsive,

They're morally repulsive,

The Hash House Harriers.

CHORUS:

Da da da da (snap fingers twice)

Da da da da (snap fingers twice)

Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da

Their flatulence is rude and

Their genitals protrude when

They're running in the nude in

The Hash House Harriers.

They're always shiggy tracking

From constantly bush-whacking,

Intelligence they're lacking,

The Hash House Harriers.

Da da da da, Down Down, etc . . .

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10.  HERE'S TO...

Here's to ____________ (hasher’s name)

He's true blue,

He's a Hasher,

Through and through,

He's a pisspot,

So they say,

Tried to go to heaven,

But he went the other way,

So drink it down, down, down  . . .

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11.  IF YOUR BOY/GIRLFRIEND TASTES LIKE SHIT

Melody – If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands

If your boyfriend tastes like shit, roll him over,  

If your boyfriend tastes like shit, roll him over,  

If your boyfriend tastes like shit, it's a log, not his dick,  

If your boyfriend tastes like shit, roll him over.  

So drink it down, down, down  . . .

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, roll her over,  

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, roll her over,  

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, its her asshole not her clit,  

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, roll her over.

So drink it down, down, down  . . .

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12.  WE'VE GOT VIRGINS

Melody - Frere Jacques

We've got virgins,  

We've got virgins,

At our hash,  

At our hash,

Gonna get'em drunked up,  

Gonna get'em fucked up,

Down the hatch,  

Up the ass,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

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13.  PISS-AN-YA

Piss-an-ya, piss-an-ya, piss-an-ya

In Russian that means I like you,

Oh if I had my way, I’d piss-an-ya all day

Piss-an-ya, piss-an-ya, piss-an-ya

Shit-an-ya, shit-an-ya, shit-an-ya

In Russian that means I adore you,

Oh if I had my way, I’d shit-an-ya all day

Shit-an-ya, shit-an-ya, shit-an-ya

Cum-an-ya, cum-an-ya, cum-an-ya

In Russian that means I love you,

Oh if I had my way, I’d cum-an-ya all day

Cum-an-ya, cum-an-ya, cum-an-ya

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14.  SWING LOW

Melody - Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

I looked over Jordan and what did I see,

Coming for to carry me home,

A band of angels coming after me,

Coming for to carry me home.

CHORUS:

Swing low, sweet chariot,

Coming for to carry me home,

Swing low, sweet chariot,

Coming for to carry me home.

I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,

Comin' for to carry me home,

But still my soul feels heavenly bound.

Comin' for to carry me home.

If you get there before I do,

Coming for to carry me home,

Tell all my friends that I'm coming too,

Coming for to carry me home.

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15.  BALLAD OF ROCKET SHITTY

Melody - Ballad of Davy Crockett

By Smoking Wiener, Rocket Shitty HHH

Born on mounty-sano in Alabam

Craziest hash in the whole damned land  

Runnin’ in the woods so's we knew ev'ry tree  

Went to a bar when we was only three.  

Rocket, Rocket Shitty, King of the hash Frontier!  

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16.  PUT YOUR LEFT LEG/TIT OVER MY SHOULDER

Put your left leg over my shoulder,

Put your right leg over my shoulder,

(wag tongue)

La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.

Put your left tit over my shoulder,

Put your right tit over my shoulder,

(shake head)

Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.

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17.  IN HEAVEN THERE IS NO BEER

In heaven there is no beer

That's why we drink it here (Right Here!)

And when we're gone from here,

Our friends will be drinking all our beer!

So drink it down, down, down . .  

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18.  HERE’S TO BROTHER (SISTER) HASHER

Here's to brother (sister) hasher,

Bother hasher, brother hasher,

Here's to brother hasher,

May he chug-a-lug.

He's happy, he's jolly,

He's fucked up by golly,

Here's to brother hasher,

May he chug-a-lug.

So drink motherfucker,

Drink motherfucker,

Drink motherfucker,

Drink motherfucker,

Here's to brother hasher,

May he chug-a-lug.

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19. DO-RAY-MI

Dos, a beer, a Mexican beer

Ray, the guy who buys me beer

Mi, the guy who drinks the beer

Fa, a long long way for beer

So, I’ll have another beer

La, la-la-la-la-la-la

Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer

That will bring us back to Dos, Dos, Dos, Dos

Drink it down, da, down, down, down

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20. HASH PRAYER

Our lager, which art in barrels, hallowed be thy drink

Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, at home as in the pub

Give us this day our frothy head,

And forgive us our spillage

As we forgive those who spill against us

And lead us not into incarceration

But deliver us from hangovers

For thine is the Bitter, and the Lager and the Ale

Forever and ever;  

bArMEN.

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21. HE’S THE MEANEST

He’s the meanest,

He sucks the horses penis,

He’s the meanest, he a horses’ ass,

Ever since he found it, all he does it pound it,

He’s the meanest, he’s a horses’ ass.

Drink it down, down, down…

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22. BY THE LIGHT…

By light of the flickering match

I saw her snatch

in the watermelon patch

By the light of the flickering match

I saw it gleam

I heard her scream

You are burning my snatch

with your god-damn match!

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23. ZULU CHIEF

Ola zooma zooma zooma,

Ola zooma zooma chief,

Drink it down you Zulu warrior,

Drink it down you Zulu chief,

Drink it down you Zulu warrior,

Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief, chief!

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24. THERE WAS A LITTLE BIRD

There was a little bird

No bigger than a turd

Sitting on a telephone pole

He ruffled up his neck

And shit about a peck

And he puckered up his little ass hole

Ass hole, ass hole, ass hole, ass hole

And he puckered up his little ass hole.

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25. SKIPPY THE SQUIRREL

Melody: Frosty the Snowman

Skippy the Squirrel is a jolly happy soul,

With his smashed out brains and his broken nose,

And some gravel up his hole.

Skippy the Squirrel is a hasher's tale they say,

He was just too slow and the hashers know,

He was squished to death one day.

There must have been some magic,

In that old dead squirrel they found,

For when they tied him to the bus he began to fly around.

Oh, Skippy the Squirrel is as dead as he can be,

But the hashers say he can hash and play,

Just the same as you and me.

(happy whistle interlude)

Skippy the Squirrel knew the sun was hot that day,

So he said, "Lets run,

And we'll have some fun, before I rot away."

Down to the On-after, with a rope tied to his tail,

Flying here and there, all around the square,

Saying , "You'll go straight to hell."

He led them down the trail that day,

Right to a parking lot,

Where Cheet-o licked a girl,

Whose father called a cop.

Cheeto and Skippy had to hurry out of there,

But they waved good-bye,

Sayin ', "Don't you cry, we'll be back again next year."

Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump,

Hear those squirrelies die,

Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump,

Look at Skippy fly!

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26. YOGI BEAR

Tune:  Camptown Ladies   

In the woods there lives a bear:  

Yogi, Yogi.  

In the woods there lives a bear:  

Yogi, Yogi Bear.  

Yogi, Yogi Bear.  

Yogi, Yogi Bear.  

In the woods there lives a bear:  

Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi has a little friend:  

Boo Boo, Boo Boo.  

Yogi has a little friend:  

Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear.  

Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear.  

Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear.  

Yogi has a little friend:  

Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear

Boo Boo's only three feet tall:  

Lucky, lucky.  

Boo Boo's only three feet tall:  

Yogi's a lucky bear.  

Yogi's a lucky bear.  

Yogi's a lucky bear.  

Boo Boo's only three feet tall:  

Yogi's a lucky bear.

Boo Boo has no teeth:  

Gummy, Gummy.  

Boo Boo has no teeth:  

Gummi, Gummi Bear.  

Gummi, Gummi Bear.  

Gummi, Gummi Bear.  

Boo Boo has no teeth:  

Gummi, Gummi Bear.

Yogi has a girlfriend:  

Cindy, Cindy.  

Yogi has a girlfriend:  

Cindy, Cindy Bear.  

Cindy, Cindy Bear.  

Cindy, Cindy Bear.  

Yogi has a girlfriend:  

Cindy, Cindy Bear.

Cindy is a frigid bitch:  

Polar, Polar.  

Cindy is a frigid bitch:  

Polar, Polar Bear.  

Polar, Polar Bear.  

Polar, Polar Bear.  

Cindy is a frigid bitch:  

Polar, Polar Bear.

Cindy doesn't shave her snatch:  

Grizzly, Grizzly Bear

Yogi's got a twelve-inch dick:  

Bla-ack, Bla-ack Bear.

Boo Boo says he's got one too:  

Liar, Liar Bear.

Cindy likes it upside down:  

Koala, Koala Bear.

Cindy likes lingerie:  

Teddy, Teddy Bear.

Cindy likes menage a trois:  

Lucky, Lucky.  

Cindy likes menage a trois:  

Boo Boo's a lucky bear!  

Boo Boo's a lucky bear!  

Boo Boo's a lucky bear!  

Cindy likes menage a trois:  

Boo Boo's a lucky bear!

Cindy's got a girlfriend, too:  

Klon-dike, Klon-dike Bear.

Klondike likes to take pictures:  

Kodiak, Kodiak Bear.

Yogi's dick is long and green:  

Cucum-, cucum-bear.

Cindy's got a cheesy snatch:  

Camem-, Camem-bear.

Yogi's black and Cindy's white:  

Panda, Panda Bear.

Yogi has an enemy:  

Ranger, Ranger Smith.

Ranger likes the animals:  

Ranger, Ranger Smith.

Ranger likes the animals:  

Beastial, beastial.  

Ranger likes the animals:  

Beastiality.  

Beastiality.  

Beastiality.  

Ranger likes the animals:  

Beastiality.

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27. JESUS CAN'T GO HASHING

Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...

he's hung like THIS (holds arms stretched out wide)

Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...

he's hung like THIS.

Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...

he's hung like THIS.

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

CHORUS:

Free beer for all the hashers

Free beer for all the hashers

Free beer for all the hashers

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

ADDITIONAL VERSES

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

the Jew won't pay 5 bucks

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

the flour falls through his hands

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

the shiggys on his head

(Head? Who said head?)

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

He's Stuck Behind A Rock

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

he turns the beer to wine

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

he's only got 12 friends

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

the beer falls out his side

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

cause he runs like this

(hopping, one foot to the other,

with arms stretched wide.)

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

His dad knows all the checks.

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

his dress is white not red

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

he gave up beer for Lent

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

he turns the flour to bread

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

he's busy getting nailed

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

He’s nailed to the cross

Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

he feels a little cross

Jesus we’re only kidding,

Jesus we’re only kidding,

Jesus we’re only kidding.

Jesus saves, Jesus saves,

Jesus saves.

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28. CHARLIE MOPS/BEER SONG

A long time ago, way back in history,

When all there was to drink was nothing but cups of tea,

Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mops,

And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops,

He ought to be an admiral, a sultan, or a king,

And to his praises we shall always sing,

Look what he's done for us, he's filled us up with cheer,

G bless Chalie Mops, the man who invented beer

Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer...

Got drunk last night

Got drunk the night before

Gonna get drunk tonight

Like I've never been drunk before

'Cause when I'm drunk

I'm as happy as can beeee'

'Cause we're all part of the Hash House Family

The Hasher Family is the best family

to ever come over from ole Germany

You got your highland drunks

and your lowland drunks

your Asian drunks

and all you other drunks

Singing glorious, victorious

one keg of beer for the four of us,

Singing glory be to G that there are no more of us,

'Cause one of us could drink it all alone

Damn near, pass a beer to the rear of the Hash House Harriers

Oh, there are no serious hashers in Rocket Shitty,

(In rocket shitty)

Oh, there are no serious hashers in Rocket Shitty,

(In rocket shitty)

'Cause they all lay on their backs,

And shoot rockets out their cracks,

Oh, there are no serious hashers in Rocket Shitty

Repear "one keg of beer for the four of us" verse

Oh, there are no serious hashers in El Paso,

(In El Paso)

Oh, there are no serious hashers in El Paso,
(In El Paso)
'Cause the hashers have four paws,
And they sent us a Lawst Cause
Oh, there are no serious hashers in El Paso

(The above verse can continue indefinitely, just substitute other kennels names)
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